Chapter 2: The Diaper From Heck

The crying was louder than anything Harry had ever heard... and it was right next to his head... At 2:00 am.

"Ginny, feed your son," Harry grunted as he turned his back to the noise and tried to pull the blanket to his head. He silently cursed his wife for insisting that Elias sleep in their bed with them.

"He's your son too, Harry."

"Yes, but I'm not the one with an 'all you can eat' buffet on my chest," Harry retorted. The next sounds he heard were the shifting of fabric and Elias's crying quieted to grunting and then just quiet suckling.

"Thank God..." Harry muttered as he fell back to sleep.

Harry woke up again at 4:00 am, this time from Ginny shaking his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked through the fog in his head.

"Elias needs a diaper change."

"..."

"Harry, did you hear me?"

"Yeah... so what do you want me to do about it?" Harry asked.

"Change him."

"But... why not you?"

"Because, Harry, you haven't changed one diaper yet and I'm tired. We've had a son for a week and it's time that you learn to change a diaper. Go." Ginny shoved Harry out of the bed and then handed him the baby.

Harry caught a whiff of the smell... the stench that came from his son.

"Oh God! You smell worse than death, and I know what death smells like. That is foul," he muttered as he carried Elias (keeping him as far from himself as possible) to the baby room with the changing table. He set the infant on the padded table and then looked at him in thought.

"Well, I guess the first thing I do is take the diaper off." Harry shrugged... it seemed easy enough. So he gingerly reached for the tabs on the diaper and pulled them apart. He pulled the diaper down and immediately started gagging.

"Oh... my... God. What in the world have you been eating?" Harry yelled, startling Elias into a full blown bawling cry.

"No, I didn't mean it! Please stop crying, Eli. Daddy needs you to be quiet. If Mommy hears you crying, she'll know how badly I suck at this fatherhood thing. We don't want that... no we don't... good... Quiet..." Harry sighed as Elias started to quiet down again. Now he needed to tackle the next phase of Operation: Diaper Change. How to clean the little bum.

"OK... I know there is something around here for this job. I remember Aunt Petunia always kept them around because Dudley refused to potty train for a long time." Then Harry had the best idea. He took his wand out of the leg holster that he always wore and he just cleaned up the mess with magic.

"Yes, your Daddy is a smart one. I bet your Mom never thought of this... and she was raised in the wizarding world." Harry smiled smugly. He put his wand back in the holster and then looked around the room for extra diapers.

"Where does your Mommy keep everything, little boy?" he muttered as he searched the room. He was checking the drawers under the changing table when he felt wetness on his back. He turned his head up just in time to get his face wet.

"What the- Elias you're not supposed to pee when you aren?t wearing a diaper! And right on my face!" Harry started yelling. He panicked and put his hands over Elias's offending member to try and stop the stream and when it stopped, he noticed the sound of laughter that was filling the room. He spun around and found Ginny standing in the doorway laughing at him.

"What are you doing there?" Harry asked.

"I could hear everything over the monitor spell we place on the room," she said.

"Oh... Ok, well then... You can finish here. I'm just gonna go take a shower and get dressed then since it's too late to go back to sleep and I have to go back to work today.? Harry muttered with a blush as he started to leave the room.

"So... not as easy as killing your arch nemesis and saving an entire world?" Ginny smirked at him.

"Shut up."