For a few moments, all Severus Snape could see was darkness.
Even that much puzzled him, since, as far as he knew, he shouldn't be able to
see anything anymore. The last
thing Severus could remember wasÉthe Dark Lord, and Nagini, andÉPotter. Had the idiot boy understood Severus'
final message? Had he realized his
crucial role in the plans that Dumbledore had laid?
It was almost a relief, Severus realized, that his own part
to play had finally come to an end.
Now that he had died, and Severus was quite sure that he was indeed
dead, since not even Potions Masters had an immunity to sharp fangs, all he had
to do was watch, and wait, and hope that the dominoes fell as they were
intended to. That was, of course,
assuming that Severus could watch, from wherever he was.
Severus had grown up in a Muggle neighborhood, and he had
learned bits and pieces of Muggle religions. Was where he was now the equivalent of one of those Muggle
ideas, heaven or hell? If it was one of the two, Severus had resigned himself to
the fact that it would be the latter.
From what he knew of heaven, Severus didn't think that torture or murder
would be looked kindly upon there, even if they had taken place over 16 years
ago. Honestly, Severus wasn't sure
why he was still capable of conscious thought, even though he wasn't one to
look a gift horse in the mouth.
Before he had too much more time to dwell on that thought,
Severus began to see bits of light coming through the darkness. A picture began to form before his keen
eyes, eyes sharpened from years of refining delicate potions. To his surprise, what he saw was
familiar to him, an outline he could reproduce in his sleep. Hogwarts Castle seemed to be right in
front of him, but how could that be? Severus had just died outside the walls of
this very castle.
However, if Severus had found that sight surprising, it was
nothing to what he was about to see.
The castle doors opened slowly, and out of them walked a tall figure
dressed in brightly colored robes.
"Hello, Severus," Albus Dumbledore exclaimed.
"Headmaster," Severus returned disdainfully, now
deciding to ignore the strangeness of his situation as much as possible. "Do you think you could do me the
honor of informing me where in Merlin's name we are?"
"Well," Dumbledore sighed. "I would, if I
knew, that is. This is a
relatively new adventure to me, much as it is to you. As much as I can discern,
once physical eath had occurred, we continue to picture our souls in the
corporal forms which we inhabited while alive, as it simplifies things somewhat
for ourselves."
"And this place?" Severus questioned, looking
around. "Why here?" This definitely was Hogwarts castle,
but it was not Hogwarts castle as he had last seen it. There were no Death Eaters, no
students, and no one was fighting.
The school looked at peace, like how it had been before the rise of
Voldemort. If only it had stayed
that way.
Dumbledore held up his hands. "Alas, that much I have
yet to learn. Perhaps you can
assist me in that regard. But, enough of us and here. Did everything go according to plan with Harry?"
Severus gave a derisive laugh. "Except for the small
matter of my death," he spat, "I suppose your plans are progressing
as you hoped."
A more somber look crossed Dumbledore's face. " I do regret that these events
unfolded as they did." He tried to lay a comforting hand on Severus'
shoulder, but Severus glared at him, and moved away from the touch. "But now, the most we can do is accept
death, and try to move on peacefully.
Death is, after all, just the next great adventure. Besides, I do believe that there is
someone here whom you would like to see." Dumbledore nodded towards a spot
just over Severus' shoulder.
Aggravated, and tired of the old man's riddles, Severus
turned around. His breath caught in his throat as he saw what Dumbledore had
been gesturing towards, or rather, who. He had known, somehow, but still, he
had never expectedÉ
There they were. Those eyes, the last sight Severus had seen
during his life were now here, so vivid and real, in his death. Lily was standing there, a few feet
behind him, looking as real as she ever had done in life, her scarlet hair
streaming down her back. Severus
knew that this wasn't possible, that they were both dead, that this was some
kind of hallucination, it had to be, but he didnŐt care. Lily smiled, a smile full of warmth, a
smile for him. Severus had so much he wanted to say to
her; to apologize, to say that he had tried his best to protect her son, that
he had hated himself since she had died, but, after all this time, words seemed
so insignificant.
Lily walked the few steps between Severus and herself, and
wrapped her arms around him, all without saying a word. At first, Severus hesitated, unused to
such affectionate contact, but then he relaxed, and returned the embrace. She whispered two words to him, and
somehow they were the most beautiful words that Severus had ever heard.
"Thank you."
It was so simple, but those two words melted away so much of
the hatred, bitterness, and guilt that had plagued Severus for the last sixteen
years. For the first time in a
long time, he felt almost as though he was at peace, although the emotion was
so foreign that he couldn't be certain.
Finally, the secret he had kept for so long wasn't stuck inside him
anymore. All those years, when his life had been a penance to relieve his
guilt, Severus had hoped, in some far corner of his mind that he barely even
acknowledged, that something like this would happen someday, that he would be
able to see Lily again, and that she could understand how truly sorry he was
for everything that he had done. Now, at last, that moment had come. The two long lost friends broke apart.
"I'm s-" Severus began.
"I know," Lily cut him off. "Haven't you heard? Actions speak
louder than words."
"I tried," Severus said bitterly. "I tried to keep him alive. But in
the end, it was useless. As I
speak, he's going to give up his life to the Dark Lord, following some hope and
dream that Dumbledore gave him."
"There was nothing more you could have done," she
soothed. "Something like this
had to happen someday, and now it has.
All we can do now is hope."
"Hope for what? Surely you donŐt think that the Dark
Lord will spare his life, do you?"
"Of course not," Lily admitted. "But still, you never know what
could happen."
Some part of Severus picked up on the fact that Lily was
just as anxious about the situation as he was, and she was just hiding it
better. That, in and of itself,
annoyed him, although only slightly.
Subtly was a specialty of his, and it was a bit of a novel experience to
be the outwardly emotional one for once.
He smiled, another unfamiliar experience, and squeezed Lily's hand. "You're right," he whispered.
"You still can hope."
It was strange. Around her again, Severus felt like an
entirely new person, felt as thought the last twenty years hadn't
happened. It was a bit like
a snake shedding its skin; the buildup of resentment and coldness melting away
to reveal a person that Severus hadn't seen in a very long time.
Then, from behind a tree on the grounds, James Potter
appeared, and began walking towards the two. When Severus saw him, he stiffened slightly, and let go of
Lily's hand. James ignored him at
first, and came to Lily.
"Lil," he muttered, "It's Harry. He needs us now."
Lily glanced at Severus, and then nodded. "I'm
coming," she assured James.
Silence fell over the three of them, and James turned awkwardly towards
Severus. For several moments, he
looked as though he was fighting with himself over something, and then,
finally, he stuck out his hand towards Severus.
"I'm-I'm sorry," he forced out, looking to be in
excruciating pain of some sort.
"About all those timesÉ.in school, andÉ" He gulped. "I'm
sorry," James repeated, in a slightly stronger and surer voice.
Severus stared down at the hand being extended towards him
like it was a foreign potions ingredient to examine. James Potter. Apologizing. To him, of all people. Severus had half a mind to search the
skies for pigs with wings. Severus glanced at Lily, and her eyes seemed to be
pleading with him. Severus sighed,
took James' hand, and shook it.
The tension was palpable, and the handshake was tight and forced, but
Lily seemed pleased regardless.
"I have to go," Lily said to Severus, and emerald
eyes bored into black. "Harry
needs us now, but I'll be back.
Severus nodded his understanding, grabbed Lily's hand, and squeezed it
again, giving her a little smile.
The two left, hand in hand, and Severus saw ghostly figures
of Black and Lupin, along with his wife, join them as they walked around the
edge of the castle and out of sight.
Peace was a novelty to him, but one that he wished to explore more
thoroughly. After all, maybe the old man was finally right. Severus opened the castle door and
stepped inside, ready face the next great adventure.