Catalyst

            “Ariana, NO!”

            But it was too late. The three of us stood in a triangle, wands pointed at each other, though where bright jets of light had once flown from them with deadly speed and accuracy, there was nothing. Nothing, nothing at all, and that was too much for me to bear. Everything was frozen in stillness; the room was smothered by silence, its clear plastic stretching and sticking over us all. Until I broke it.

            “How could you?!” I burst out, whirling to face the most likely, the only possible culprit.

            I ran forward to the center of the now-broken triangle and knelt, lovingly stroking her long dark hair. Her eyes were closed and she lay there still, stiller than still, and something shattered inside me.

            “You murderer!!!”

            I jumped to my feet, my wand pointed at his face, about to curse him – no – kill him. My face twisted and I charged. I opened my mouth and shouted, “Ava - ”

            Suddenly, I doubled over as I was thrown back, and pain shot through my spine as I realized that I had hit the wall. I reached down for my wand and my eyes shone with anger as I realized that it wasn’t there. I got up, ignored the pain, and tensed, about to rush him. Him, standing there. Him, staring there. Him, alive there…

            “Enough, Aberforth!” The shout made me turn my head and I stared at him, not quite registering his voice. My eyes widened with shock. In his hand was his wand and my own.

            “Enough?!” The shock of this statement distracted me from my target. “Enough?!” I shook my head, disbelieving this betrayal. “How can you say that, Albus?! How can you even think it? Enough?! Can’t you see what he did?!” I gestured towards Ariana, lying lifeless on the floor, as cold as the stone. “How can you ask me to stop?” I needed an answer, an explanation.

            He hesitated and raised a hand, meaning to calm me, probably. “You don’t know he did it, Abe.” His voice was pleading and his blue eyes begged for me to understand.

            I glared at him, disgust welling up inside me… “I don’t know?!” A different sort of disbelief permeated my voice. “I don’t know?!” I echoed. “Who else could have done it? Who else would have done it?!”

            “Abe, we don’t know! You don’t know! We were all fighting; any one of us could have hit her!”

            I stared at him. “You’re on his side,” I whispered. How – how could this happen? This was my own brother! Yes, we weren’t very close, but we were still brothers! And Ariana… Ariana is – was – our sister! “You’re on his side… against me, your own brother? Against Ariana, your own sister?!” I felt drained, deflated. He seemed to shrink and shook his head slowly. “No no… no, it’s not like that Abe! It’s just… it’s just…”

            “No!” I cried, finding my fire. “It’s NOT ‘just’! I trusted you! She trusted you! Mum trusted you to protect her! How… how DARE you?!”

            “No, Abe, no, let me explain - ”

            “No! No, Albus! No! You’re just as bad as him! You – you - ” An idea began to form in my mind… a horrible, unthinkable idea, but an idea all the same. “You could have murdered her yourself!” I hissed.

            He stepped back, aghast. “Wha - ”

            I didn’t let him finish. “You’d do anything, wouldn’t you?! Anything to escape from here, anything to go off on your adventures, to pursue your dreams, to go off and conquer the world, WOULDN’T YOU?!?!”

            “STOP it, Abe!”

            The sudden, unexpected cry stunned me into silence.

            “Just stop! You’re wrong and you know it! I love Ariana just as much as you do. I love her, but you ju - ”

            I found my voice. Funny how that happens when you get accused, isn’t it? “Liar! If you love her, then why are you defending him?!”

            He stuttered into silence and I advanced. A strange thrill overcame me. Albus Dumbledore, my glorious, praised, exalted brother, would finally be beaten. The ironic thing was that it’d be done by me. Me, always cast in his shadow.

            “Leave, Albus,” I hissed. “Do us all a favor and leave. Go off with Grindelwald, conquer the world… I don’t give a damn. Just leave… you murderer.” The last word was whispered. I knew I shouldn’t have said it, but there was no stopping me now. Even as I longed to take it back, I knew that I couldn’t back down, not now.

            The last thing I saw of him was a look of disbelief, of sorrow, in his piercing blue eyes. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I realized that the despair in that face, in those eyes, was because of me. But at that moment, I didn’t care that I had single-handedly destroyed everything between us. As he and Grindelwald apparated away, only one thought was in my mind: He deserved it, and more.

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Now that I look back, I realize that, in the end, it wasn’t about Ariana at all. Now that I look back, I realize that, in the end, it was about Albus and me. It was about us, about our differences, about our rivalry. But, more than anything, it was about me and my jealousy of him, of the praised golden wizard. It was about my resentfulness of the brother who could do no wrong, of the brother who was, in many ways, so much better than I. Now as I stare at his cold marble grave, I am faced with the realization that he was better than me, probably is still better than me, even in death. Still, he is a shining white beacon of light, illuminating the dark and the night. I turn to go, knowing that everyone has already gone up to the castle, the ceremony done hours ago. I stare up at the night sky and I whisper, “Mars is bright tonight.” Perhaps I ought to go oil Ariana’s portrait.