The Raven: A PotterFicWeekly Parody

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, 'tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was a month before December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From iTunes surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the want of more-
For the rare and radiant podcast always leaves me wanting more -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain lack of a little blue dot
Thrilled me - filled me with impatient terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
'Trick-or-Treaters will soon be knocking at my apartment door -
Costumed Trick-or-Treaters soon knocking at my apartment door; -
Candy, they'll be wanting more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
Pushed I the ?refresh podcast? button.  Yore!
And the fact is there was nothing, Headmaster Huggles was merely bluffing,
Bluffing about the episode's release, his fans are quite hardcore,
He wanted to keep us waiting because we're so hardcore; -
White square there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, children stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of more candy then ever acquired before
But the lack of podcast was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were the whispered words, 'we implore!!'
This I whispered, 'Ryan release the podcast, we implore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Once again I pushed the button, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In the box appeared the blue dot from the saintly days of yore!
'Excellent' then I uttered; my little heart began to flutter;
Surely we wouldn't have to sit and wait there anymore -
Very surely we wouldn't have to sit and wait there anymore-
Sit and wait, and nothing more.

Then this little dot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
It was then I saw the problem of the ?ber long download.
Ghastly grim and prolonged download our souls in twain you tore -
Tell me thy prolonged download why have our souls in twain you tore!'
Quoth Headmaster, 'Nevermore.'

Much I miss the dulcet tones of the Headmaster Ryan,
He speaks often of Battle Star, which we simply can't ignore.
Every mention we take a shot, dull Ryan is surely not
His voice puts the women to sleep, often causing them to snore-
Ryan's voice is soporific causing women all to snore,
Ryan quiet? Nevermore.

Want I then to hear of Jen, forcing me to laugh again
Always she has what to say, something different from before.
Constantly she's reading smut having to keep the door shut -
To block out some natural disaster sure to leave much gore-
To stop some lizard or disaster sure to leave much gore.
Quoth the universe 'Nevermore.'

Miss I then the voice of Chi, always that of reason to me.
'Doubtless,' say I, 'what she says is more than stock and store,'
From a writers point of view, she gives us thoughts anew
Followed fast and followed faster by a story not to bore -
Till the dirges of her mind aren't thought to be a bore
Pointless thoughts?  Oh, nevermore.

Want I now to be attending, the download formerly unending,
Excitement I could not contain expecting laughs galore;
Then, upon the sofa sinking, I betook myself to linking
Linking to the fics Rinna really thinks I should explore-
Linking to the awesome fics Rinna wants me to explore
Boredom now?  Nevermore.

Finally I have the podcast, my feelings now a contrast
To what they were before.   Happiness for me is now in store.
As the hosts discuss fan fiction this becomes my new addiction.
Three hours of discussion, this awesome length we all adore
October thirty-first now a night I'll forever adore-
PotterFicWeekly Nevermore!